Ode to friends that never became anything more

I have to block out thoughts of you so I dont lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? Is it I that wanted space?

And I whisper, How can you do this to me?

And so we come to it, the end of an era. My exile in OKC has finally ended. I now find myself in a new job, def. a new city and with endless possibilities ahead. Why just this week I found myself in Manhattan sipping drinks with people whose only connection to each other was me!

I'd say it is definitely time to end this blog... I had told myself it would be only when one of two things happen:

1) I have sex, in OKC (hahaha, like that was ever even a possibility!)

2) I get the fuck out of OKC (Ding, Ding, Ding - it's option 2 baby yea!)

I leave you and bid you goodbye my humble readers (all 3 of you) as this session of blog-therapy has run its course. Should some insantity come my way again, you can be sure I will purge my thoughts in this manner for your entertaiment - encore.

I am a DYNAMIC CREATOR!

Dynamic Creator

My beautiful sis in law! 

Nidhi's Mehendi 

My big fat greek wedding part 2 - with me stuffing my face :) 

The barat went in style! In an SUV LIMO!! 

Tying the "sehra" 

Three HOT cousins!!! 

Sonz looking thoughtful 

Mom and Daphna (friends for 35 years!!! Daphna is the coolest person ever and a retired port authority COP from NYC!) 

Papa with his TWO daughters!! 

Vish and Vik mamu JAMMING!!! 

Rad surrounded by hot boys, so what else is new? ;) 

Rad could NOT stop dancing 

Rad all traditional for the wedding 

The wedded couple at the reception 

The ladies and Sam 

Dinner at the CN tower 

Blast from the past

Websites from when Karan and I were FRESHMAN in college - 6 yrs ago and still intact!!! Gosh, how fast time flies. I love the history I share with these peeps... Xaviers' forever!!!!
http://www.radtherad.freeservers.com
http://www.kaytee.8m.com/

I've been.......... Canceled??

So for those of you following my shaadi.com saga.... hottie intellectual from Frankfurt 'canceled' ME!!!!! Hahahaha guess I shouldnt gloat about the hundreds I rejected huh. The thing is, he wanted to call me and I said, no thanks, emailing a stranger is weird enough anyway... BUT THE FUCKER CANCELED ME!! I am so wounded :( I hate that fucking website... this just emphasizes my point. You want rejection? Get rejected in a bar, where at least you have the option of beer goggles for the rest of the night as a defense!

The entertainment that is SHAADI.COM

So, those of you who know me really well, know that for the last month or so I've been bold chestedly (yes, its a reference to my big boobsies) proclaiming that IT IS POSSIBLE TO FALL OUT OF LOVE... even, if it is with the T. Now most reactions have been shocked, scared, "LOL", skeptical but sort of supportive (I call them the "yeah, right!"s), wary and downright ECSTATIC. But halfway convincing you of my heart's ability to rise above this tribulation is not my intent... I want to floor you with my conviction that this one time believer in the "one true love" theory is OVER IT.

So I asked myself, what would it take to accomplish this feat? A gesture? NAY! A GRAND GESTURE! And what could be more convincing than proving that I was not only ready to move on, but yes indeed, settle down... with the aid of an INTERNET SITE! This is where shaadi.com (dot com that became a mega, RAGING success this decade because people in the Asian Sub-continent obviously lack people skills and cant meet their mate in a bar, place of worship or through friends and family like other NORMAL people) comes in . Keep in mind that this is the website using which, my ex-lothario brother met his future wifey to be (wedding bells in April for him), and this is also the site where my still single 27 yr old cousin has met psychos, stalkers, white men with a tendre for indian women, and NO ONE suitable to be a "husband". But I figure, what the hell, if I dont find a husband, an entertaining night in OKC (for a change) will totally be worth it. Yes, it is surprising I haven't succumbed before this, considering the many boring nights I have wasted away in this city "not really a city" township of sorts.

I create a profile and I try to be honest about what I am looking for. I dont want to hurt anyone's feelings, but simply use this as a tool to understand and study the reactions I receive from these allegedly marriagble men. I do not put a picture up there, because face it, I dont want them to be blinded by my boobies, uh, I mean my beauty. After 400 profile views to date (in a day and half if I do say so myself), 150 "interested" messages, and 10 acceptances (by me - but there are only two guys that I would actually consider), I am back to where I started. You are pretty much nuts if you think youre going to meet the love of your life (be it second, fifth, tenth or hundredth) ONLINE. These people are fucking freaks for the most part. I had a 35 yr old Computer Science professor indirecly ask me to have cyber sex with him, AND an uneducated freak-a-zoid FOB in Austrailia ask me "which state in ur" IN MY WHAT????

Though I did correspond with this hottie intellectual in Frankfurt... so more to come if anything develops there. To top it all, my mom confesses that she secretly had created a profile on there for me last summer!!!! Never trust mothers I say. UGH - What has this world come to?

So to conclude, yes you can fall out of love WITH ANYONE (it might take a few yrs, but you can do it). No, online marriage is NOT for me, and is really a game for fools. Maybe, online dating like friendster etc. is acceptable... but man, if you are destined to communicate with freaks anyway, wouldnt you want to make sure he was hot first? And what way to do that for sure than the good old way of seeing the person face to face.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

People say the most versatile word in the english language is "fuck." Well, FUCK them. The most versatile word (yea it's even really a word) is "Uhhhhhhhhhh." Ask Paula. She and I have had whole conversations and communicated deep and meaningful thoughts in various renditions of "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." For those of you trying to figure out what this actually sounds like, stay tuned - further DETAILED description to follow on Paula's blog.

I took a day off work and headed to DC on Thursday night last week.... Friday was cool - I chilled out in Reston and met up with Sarah (my freshman roomie from VT) for lunch.... and after that was when this newest adventure began. When I left OKC, I was ready for an uneventful and relaxing weekend... maybe hang out with Paula for Happy Hour on Friday and then my aunt for the rest of the time. Well lets just say things turned out a little differently.....

I'm pretty used to the Metro system in DC and this time decided to hop on a bus for part of the way to Bethesda to meet with Paula. It turns out that the crowd in a bus tends to be a little shady round these parts. Now there is no PC way to explain the events that followed so I'm just going to let it rip. I spent the most part of the bus ride trying to decipher what two Mexican construction workers were saying in Spanish. I picked up enough to know they were trying to test me to see if I knew Spanish... and I'm sure they said some really FLATTERING stuff... but all I understood was the conclusion: "No, she defintely doesn't speak Spanish." :( I AM going to learn by the way.... I already know one word - MENTIROSA! I decide to look away and looked straight into the eyes of an older gentleman with some kind of "special" problems. I look away, and that was then I heard it "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Uhhhhhhh, Uhhh." My eyes widened a little and I looked to see where the sound was coming from. Again, I looked straight into the eyes of the special man whose GAZE into mine would NOT waver. I looked away again trying to keep my face nuetral and then I heard..... well........ FLAPPING. I discretely looked over again and saw this legs spread apart and with amazing agility and speed snap back together.... continuosly. Uhhhhhhhhhhh, how would you react??

Now Paula picks me up from the West Falls Church Metro and while laughing hysterically (I told you we are the most NON PC people on this planet) we park the car. And this is when we realize that people other than us are really fucked up. In slow motion we see a truck hit a parked Beamer (dont know the model but Paula assures me its a 60K car) on a turn and rip off the ENTIRE bumper. The asshole drives off, but Paula (ever the car enthusiast and nice person) leaves her information for the owner. We reach the bar, and start planning the evening. Apparently the only thing on Paula's agenda was getting a guy to kiss her. Sounded like a plan to me. As our food arrives we suddenly make the decision to go to NYC, get our dinner to go and head out. Now back in the parking lot we run into the Beamer guy, who is VVVVVVVVV HOT and now has Paula's cell #. See, no good deed goes unpaid. DO GOOD THINGS PEOPLE!!

Being the classy chicks we are, we rev up the AUDI and head up to THE CITY.... make it up there in 3.5 hrs (record time mind you) and head out... it is midnight. Oh and on the exit to Aneesh's house, we pass by a BURNING car - that's New York for ya. Now the plan is still to get Paula some action... but it becomes especially challenging.... considering we are now headed to SHOLAY - a GAY Indian/ Desi party. After a McDonalds pee stop, a challenging and LONG metro ride full of quirky people you only see in NYC, short cab ride into Tribeca, we arrive at "Pepper." Our expressions are a little morose, but for different reasons. I am morose because these HOT men are grinding with each other instead of me and Paula, well I think she was a little overwhelmed at first. And who wouldnt be, when you realize the guy in Drag has a better body and booty then you :(

Anway we loosen up, make the introductions and start DANCING. I love me my Gay men - they are the best dancers and I am totally in this comfort zone I never knew I had. However, it is a little disconcerting when you feel a guy rub up on you with a hard on you know there is no way you caused!!!!!! Anyway I tried to get my attention off the half naked eye candy all around me and teach Paula some bust thrusts (traditional bollywood move essential to showing off one's big boobs).

We head out at 4am... eat some yummy carrot cake... pass out on Aneesh's couch by 6 am. Wake up at 10 am - rile up Aneesh's sociologist roomie by talking about the servants in India and Brazil, eat some more carrot cake, head out for brunch with Aneesh and Sabina.... and get back in the Audi and drive back to Maryland.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I am so exhausted and I cant believe we really did this.... to great memories with great friends....live life, "queen" size.

Apathy - sometimes ya just need it

I just dont care.... and it's brilliant.